Rags

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Rags last won the day on 26 August

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About Rags

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  • Birthday 01/01/01

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  1. But of course you were beat into submission by your 7 yr old grandson... Rags
  2. https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/jLI6VA40oUs?autoplay=1&vq=hd720&rel=0&showinfo=0&start=0&end=
  3. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke? Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage? EVER WONDER... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
  4. We're coming along.... BTW, this is what it's supposed to look like when complete... Rags
  5. Thanks Fons, much appreciated Rags
  6. DeYoung Museum, SF Swamp, New Orleans... Tijuana Dog Races... White Sands, New Mexico...
  7. Very well done Rags
  8. > > After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. > > On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. > > Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze. > > The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?" > > "Well, he said, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but I fish on Fridays.”
  9. - A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms. The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything. When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for. The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole !" Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client ?" Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top." Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?" "Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined." "What does the "AH" stand for, officer ?" "Aggressive and hostile, Sir." "Aggressive and hostile?" "Yes, Sir." "Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for asshole?" "Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do." How Often Can One Get An Attorney To Convict His Own Client
  10. A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying. 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.’ 'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.’ 'Wow! That's a great idea!', he exclaimed. 'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own f...ing blanket.’ After a moment of silence, he farted. The End
  11. All nice stuff Alex... Rags
  12. Thanks for all the well wishes...
  13. AVOCADOS A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6. A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had avocados." If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time. My work is done here. WATER IN THE CARBURETOR... WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous " WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car? WIFE: "In the pool". STATISTIC THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC , PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS. 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated... THE PHONE A young man wanted to get his beautiful very blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone. The next day Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Meg," he said, "how do you like your new phone?" Meg replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..." "What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?" HE MUST PAY... Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you." Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you. TODAY'S SHORT READING FROM THE BIBLE... From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth." Then he made the earth round... and He laughed and laughed and laughed!
  14. I love it; it's like ballet... offsetting centrifugal forces... Rags
  15. My last Hurrah was a photo moto trip cross country (US) at 75. Along the way I stayed in flea bag motels. I thought there might be a better way & my entrepreneurial spirit took hold After a couple of starts and stops with different city planners we got approval in Napa, California. The challenge was not to alter the outside walls of a 1913 building (as stated by the local historical (hysterical?) assoc.) I got the notion to take the inside center roof out and create a hospitality donut Here are some shots of the demolition and framing Marked hole to be punched for alley The cut and tipping out Through the hole Some sewer lines Some concrete forms and new framing... with roof cut out Finishing the concrete slab... An exciting project... Rags