Mike G

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Mike G last won the day on 8 November

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About Mike G

  • Rank
    Master Member
  • Birthday 13/02/46

Profile Information

  • Real Name
    Mike Gorman
  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    London ??
  • Edit my pics?
    Ask Me
  • Fav. Camera
    Fujifilm X-T2
  • Fav. Lens
    Fujinon 23mm f1.4
  • Fav. Editor
    Lightroom

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  1. Dallas I enjoyed that little video, but as with us all you are starting to show your age now by referring to the 80s, ah tempos fujit.
  2. AUSTRALIAN LETTER - I think the sender might have been upset! This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister. The Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it couldn’t stop laughing ! Dear Mr Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date ? For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand ? My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off planes over the past 30 years It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966. Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely bloody astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead !!! SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide? I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bloody address! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there! And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other side of Sydney , and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day? Nooooo…that'd be too bloody easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the bloody place like chickens with our heads cut off, and then having to find some 'high-society' wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo... the one where we're not allowed to smile?...you bloody morons. Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen. P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in 'high-society' to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1820! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year. However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am; you know...someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN BLOODY PAKISTAN!..a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers - and are suspended from the Commonwealth and United Nations for not having the "right sort of government".. You are all pen-pushing paper-shuffling bloody idiots! --
  3. I started smoking at age 15 approx 1961, finally managed to quit in 2006 after trying dozens of times. Being around smokers doesn’t really bother me now. E smoking devices are getting really big here, but you have to put up with people wreathed in a veritable cloud of steam or whatever it is that comes out of those things. Not smoking now pays for my holidays, which is good. P.S. Over here smoking tobacco seems to be mainly done by young females of the species.
  4. Interesting to see compact sales are declining!
  5. Less of the old please!
  6. From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m bored!” Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!” Unknown aircraft: “I said I was bored, not stupid!” O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.” United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this… I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.” ************************** Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise reduction turn right 45 Degrees.” TWA 2341: “Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?” Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727? ************************* A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long rollout after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: “American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadelupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.” ****************************** A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): “Ground, what is our start clearance time?” Ground (in English): “If you want an answer you must speak in English.” Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?” Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): “Because you lost the bloody war!” ***************************** Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7” Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.” Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?” BR Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern… we’ve already notified our caterers.” ****************************** * The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: “Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.” Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.” The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?” Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.” Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?” Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, — And I didn’t land.” ****************************** While taxiing at London’s Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: “US Air 2771, where the heck are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!” Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: “God! Now you’ve screwed everything up! It’ll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don’t move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?” “Yes, ma’am,” the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: “Wasn’t I married to you once?”
  7. My neighbour Julie, provides him with a nice warm bed in a shed, she also feeds him his cat food, but we’re sure he’s being fed somewhere else as well! There are lots of local hideaways for him. And of course he patrols his territory. Believe me he is one pampered pussycat.
  8. Dave enjoying the morning sunshine until I poked a Fujinon 23mm 1.4 in his face! Heavy Crop
  9. Well Robert, that’s how to condense a cats life into very few words. 😺
  10. It’s many a year since visiting Delft, nice Luc! I seem to recall that the Delft blue & white was very expensive!
  11. Believe me Vivion she is not in the least bit asymmetric, as I’ve spent many a pleasant moment checking out the lady’s symmetry.
  12. Maybe the female of the species will evolve a third arm for clutching phone? The girls seem to need have the mobile in their hand at all times! I know a lovely German lady called Sabine, she is a very buxom lady and she keeps her mobile in her bra! Quite funny to see one her breasts vibrating when she gets a call.
  13. If this love affair with mobile phone continues, maybe the female of the species will evolve a third arm to hold a phone!
  14. Spotted in Little Venice! X-T2 + 23mm 1.4 @ 1/100 f 5.6 ISO 640