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Rags last won the day on 29 December 2016

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About Rags

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  1. Nice shots and good insight into the Netherlands life style Sounds like a good annual program As a recycle pensioner (@78) consider NOT giving up your 4 days Rags
  2. Hehe... Ann you must have been quite a pistol... Rags
  3. Wife : Shall I prepare Curry or Soup today? Husband : First make it, we will name it later A frustrated husband in front of his laptop : Dear google, please do not behave like my wife.. Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting. A married man's prayer : Dear God, You gave me childhood, You took it away. You gave me youth, You took it away. You gave me a wife ... Its been years now, just reminding You. A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home?" Husband answers: "Because he's thinking of getting married" Employee : Sir, You are like a lion in the office! What about at home ??? Boss : I am a lion at home too, But there we have a lion tamer !!! A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat." Wife : honey ... you say prayer before eating at home Husband : that's at home sweetheart ... here the chef knows how to cook. Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt : "Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed"
  4. The State of Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife sent a letter to a home/landowner asking for permission to access a creek on his property to document the decline in a certain species of unheard of frogs. The property owners’ response is the second letter below; it’s EPIC. . Original Letter from Oregon Dept. of Fish & Wildlife: ****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *** ****************************** ** **************************** Dear Landowner: ODFW Staff will be conducting surveys for foothill yellow-legged frogs & other amphibians over the next few months. As part of this research we would like to survey the creek on your property. I am writing this letter to request your permission to access your property. Recent research indicates that foothill yellow-legged frogs have declined significantly in recent years and are no longer found at half their historic sites. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated and will help contribute to the conservation of this important species. Please fill out the attached postage-paid postcard and let us know if you are willing to let us cross your property or not. If you have any concerns about this project please give us a call. We would love to talk with you about our research. Sincerely, Steve Niemela Conservation Strategy Implementation Biologist ***************************** ****************************** ****************************** ***************************** ********************** ****************************** **** RESPONSE FROM LANDOWNERS : Dear Mr. Niemela: Thank you for your inquiry regarding accessing our property to survey for the yellow-legged frog. We may be able to help you out with this matter. We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw tag for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you purchase the "Frog Survey License" ($120.00 resident / $180.00 Non-Resident). You will also need to obtain a "Frog Habitat" parking permit ($10.00 per vehicle). You will also need an "Invasive Species" stamp ($15.00 for the first vehicle and $5.00 for each add'l vehicle) You will also want to register at the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for non-native plant life prior to entering our property. There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle. If you are successful in the Draw you will be notified two weeks in advance so you can make necessary plans and purchase your "Creek Habitat" stamp. ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident). Survey units open between 8 am and 3 pm . but you cannot commence survey until 9 am . and must cease all survey activity by 1 pm . Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2" diameter made of 100% organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18-ft handle, non-weighted and no deeper than 6' from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can only be made of BPA-free plastics or wood. . After 1 pm . you can use a net with a 3" diameter if you purchase the "Frog Net Endorsement" ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident). Any frogs captured that are released will need to be released with an approved release device back into the environment unharmed. As of June 1 , we are offering draw tags for our "Premium Survey" units and application is again only $8.00 per application. However, all fees can be waived if you can verify "Native Indian Tribal rights and status". You will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of "Frog Surveys and You" comprehensive course on frog identification, safe handling practices, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks. This course is offered on-line through an accredited program for a nominal fee of $750.00. Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you. Otherwise, we decline your access to our property but appreciate your inquiry . Sincerely, Larry & Amanda Anderson.
  5. One day, a little old lady went to see the doctor. The kindly medical professional asked her, "What seems to be the problem, dear?" She said, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. "My farts never smell, and are always silent. "As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor said, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week, the little old lady returned for her follow-up appointment. "Doctor," she said, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly..." The doctor said: "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
  6. Hey Luc... in cam HDR?... Nice rendition Rags
  7. An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I’m going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, "99". The old guy obeys and says, "99". The doctor says, "Great. Now turn over on your left side and again take a deep breath and say, "99". Again, the old guy says, "99". The doctor says, "Very good". Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, "99".   The old guy begins, "One... Two... Three...
  8. Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, And every year Ken would say, 'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter' Edna always replied, 'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Ken and Edna went to the fair, and Ken said, 'Edna, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance' To this, Edna replied "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.' Ken and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word... When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!' Ken replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, But you know, "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"
  9. If you go again.. don't try to shot Mesquite Dune in the morning; it's mobbed with photogs - winter & summer Go north to Eureka Dunes (still part of Death Valley) and you have two bonuses nearby... Bristle cone NP and Alhambra Hills Both sparsely attended... Rags
  10. OK..OK don't watch your ass... let others do it...
  11. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. So, watch your Ass
  12. I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby. If you give her a house, she will make a home. If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!
  13. I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him…but they kind of taste like peppermint.
  14. Unfortunately my bride's toys are houses... (or tools to enslave me... ) Rags